Version: 2008
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Kill That Cow 5

  • Quick specs
  • Price: Free to try $2.00 to buy
  • Operating system: Windows 98/Me/2000/XP/Vista/NT
  • Date added: January 08, 2005
  • Total Downloads: 10,776
  • Downloads last week: 1
  • See full specifications
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Tested spyware free

CNET editors' review

Reviewed by: CNET Staff

Think of the worst game you've ever played. No, think of the worst game you've ever imagined. Now double that. Welcome to Kill that cow.

Mindless, unrewarding, and bizarre, yet not nearly quirky enough to even merit a guilty-pleasure download, Kill that cow combines pointless gameplay with ridiculously bad graphics to create a game that can be beaten in less than a minute. Yes, that's 12MB, not 1.2MB. (Think bad WAV files, not bundled software.) Kill that cow is worse than your standard, homemade online Flash game. You control crosshairs that look nothing like crosshairs and fire an Uzi at a 2D, pixelated cow in a flashing screen that varies between bright green and brighter green in two short levels. Your "reward" for finishing both levels is an image of miserable cows locked behind a barbwire fence. Yum.

Although we didn't find any spyware in our tests, the game comes without any sort of end-user license agreement, which might arise from carelessness, but nonetheless raises suspicions of troublemaking. The installer also is an unregistered version of Clickteam--not bad in theory yet another sign of amateurism. It might not leave any physical scars, but Kill that cow might ruin your day anyway. You've been warned.

Publisher's description

From John Girvan :

Kill that cow is a very simple computer game, designed for people who like simple shoot em up that donut require much thought, the game has a complex AI engine, that increases in intelligence as the game progresses we used the same engine in this the PC version as we used in the amiga version, nobody has passed level 15 yet the game will play at least to level 200 so challengers welcome to the level 15 pass of this game. Game music was designed and developed by professional music people and the graphics and animation are really cool. Mind blasting retro fun, not for those who like reading the text first and especially not for those thinking about or even for that being able to, writing crappy reviews for it, when its clearly not designed for them. Kill that cow is a brilliant game and send us an e-mail if you can beat level 15.

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User reviews

  • Showing 5 of 10 user reviewsSee all 10 user reviews
    This software version | All versions

  • 1 stars

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful

    Version: Kill That Cow 5

    "THIS IS BAD GAME"

    by Azn Pride on July 15, 2006

    Pros: its funny looking at peoplez reviews

    Cons: *** IS THIS GAME.... THE MAIN MENU ISNT EVEN EXIST.... AND THE NAME KILL THE COW IS BACKWARDS ***...........ALSO ITS STUPID,......POINTLESS GAME ALL U DO IS CLICK ON THE COW...THERE ISNT EVEN A CONTROL ***......AND ITS JUST SOME FLASHING COW MOVING ALL OVER THE SCREEN.....THIS IS A WASTE OF TIME....Ima rate it

    Graphics:2

    Gameplay:1

    Value:1

    Sound:1

    SHould download:NO UNLESS UR A 5 YEAR OLD WHO LIKES BORING GAMES....POINTLESS GAME

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  • 1 stars

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful

    Version: Kill That Cow 5

    "pathetic and frustrating"

    by andysfile on May 27, 2006

    Pros: $10 to buy adds some humour to it... oh wait it really is.

    Cons: First thing I noticed was that the menu text was BACKWARDS?!

    Second thing I noticed is that it would give many people seizures with it's annoying flashing lights after the backwards menu. Which lasted for something like a minute for me. Then I realised I had to press enter to start the 'game'. No instructions either.

    Third thing I noticed is that after minimizing it to write this review and went back to the FLASHING AARGH! I had to restart the game to go back.

    I played an insanely poor designed level with the only half the cow on the screen (it kept going to the edges). Somehow this cow managed to easily get through fences as if they were not even there. "Level complete, press any key to continue". I pressed and arrow key. Nothing happened. I pressed a letter. There we are! It seems the maker of this atrocity can't even get that right. Anyway, it's your choice to waste precious seconds downloading it!

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  • 1 stars

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful

    Version: Kill That Cow 5

    "THIS *COUGH*GAME*COUGH* IS A NO GO! GET IT OFF!"

    by cs1111555 on March 19, 2007

    Pros: I DONT THINK THAT THERE ARE ANY, EXCEPT THAT IT MAKES ME LAUGH AT HOW DUMB IT IS, AND THAT THEY EXPECT SOMEONE TO PAY $10 DOLLARS FOR IT.

    Cons: EVERY ASPECT OF THE GAME! I UNINSTALLED IT AFTER PLAYING IT FOR LESS THAN A MINUTE. IT WAS SO BAD!

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  • 1 stars

    3 out of 4 people found this review helpful

    Version: Kill That Cow 5

    "oh my God!"

    by ghopper on May 7, 2005

    Pros: ah...None!!!!

    Cons: I think my old Atari 400 Had better games than this. Horrible, idiotic, waste of drive space ect. This had to have been written by a 10 year old who already had a bad childhood. I downloaded it too see how bad it was...and it is!!!! Barf!!!

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  • 2 stars

    Version: Kill That Cow 5

    "Just a stupid game"

    by DRkongo on October 31, 2006

    Pros: Well u can enjoy it when u are high. One find it so funny (especially cows) or kids under 5-6 (not more) years could enjoy it.

    Cons: I've 2 questions:

    1) where is main menu?

    2) Does anyone play this imbecility?

    What a awful game.

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