AMERICAN HEROES WANTED!
Do you have the shins to fight windmill cancer, and save America?
* Four different levels, plus a bonus level where you drive a pickup truck through stuff. Yes, stuff!
* Two difficulty levels. Bill Barr (Easy), and Obama (Impossible).
Three types of windmills:
* Old Timey windmills. They're old, and timey.
* Modern windmills. They're less timey, but just as windmilly.
* Solar Powered Moon Windmills. I'm so confused! Thanks, Obama.
There's even Power Ups!
Hamburgers - Restores lost health, just like in real life.
Freedom Fries - Increases the speed in which you can spread democracy.
Extra Large Fountain Drink - Makes you jiggle and wiggle faster.
Vegetables - Are not included in this game! That's the off brand Windmill Attack. Don't get it. Sad. Fake windmills.
Books With Words - Also not in the game. Nobody likes that.
PLEASE don't overlook the tutorial in the Settings Menu. It's there for you. And it's not the diet version that tastes gross.
Also, tank controls! Because our beta tester, Ben, doesn't know his left from his right. Oh sure, he will say he does, but he doesn't. Hence, tank controls. But otherwise we assume some of him is good people.
This game is dedicated to those who lost their fight with windmills in 2019. AND, to everyone who bought the game. Thank you. You're the best. Tremendous.
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