Don't buy this app for iOS

Hello my friend! This is an app!! It has trivia where you can win tube socks or babies, there is a part with a platypus and noses, and Reykjavik is featured, and also there's a donkey and Bob Ross and ancient Egyptian sculpture that will teach you a useful phrase in Dutch, and you can also read the third chapter of Beowulf but with more references to well-known screen star Abe Vigoda. Also you get a pug or a pony or a falcon or a banana when you tap pretty much anywhere. So it's pretty rad. It costs a lot of money though :-( so you probably should save your money for a pair of tube socks, or maybe a candied yam? But then again this app features the Magical Unicorn Bonus, and there aren't any tube socks or candied yams or regular yams or other apps with the Magical Unicorn Bonus so it's kind of a hard decision!! You should probably ask your mom or a favorite pet fish or the Vice President or my mom or a taco. Or flip a coin! But be careful not to hit your eyeball!! With the coin! Actually coins are pretty dangerous so just get rid of your coins. You could buy an app with them? But probably not this app. Unless you want to maybe get the Magical Unicorn Bonus.--WARNING: This app contains a hamburger singing "La Spagnola". If you can't handle that, you should close this window and stop reading this description immediately.ANOTHER WARNING: It's really very mean to call people names. so please don't do that!--YOU SHOULD KNOW that the app preview features the photograph "Mists and Magic" by Priyambada Nath. And now you do know that! And some music called "Borneo" by the music-making human being called Keshko. In addition, and completely coincidentally, the screen shots include the photograph "Silky Sifaka" by Jeff Gibbs, and "Farmland of the A165" by J. Thomas. You should tell all your friends because you are a very thoughtful person!!!