Geek love

Got your own spyware horror story?

Damsel in distress
I'm a teenage Webmaster, and I have a story for you! Recently, one of my friends, who often talks to me on Yahoo Messenger, had her browser hijacked and her system infected by the rogue software known as ErrorProtector. It just so happens that I secretly have a crush on her. (I hope she's not reading this.) Although her father had installed Spybot Search & Destroy and appeared to have fixed the problem, ErrorProtector's fake alerts persisted.

I told my crush not to click anywhere on the errors (including the "no" button), as they would probably install ErrorProtector on the system. Then, I sent a setup file of RogueRemover to her via IM, since her browser had also been affected. She successfully installed and ran RogueRemover under my guidance, and after a smooth reboot, began repeatedly IMing me "ty" for "thank you." So that was the end of her spyware crisis!

What I have learned: 1) RogueRemover works very well--it does exactly what it says and gets the job done; 2) the Yahoo Browser is no safer than Internet Explorer 6; and 3) computer geeks can most definitely rescue damsels in distress, albeit in their own special ways.

-Anonymous
San Jose, Calif.

Love me, love my toolbars
My next-door neighbors invited me over for dinner to meet a nice lady friend of theirs. It seemed we had hit it off pretty well and she asked me to look at her problem PC. I went over a few days later and was amazed--I have never seen so many toolbars on one machine. It took a good five minutes for the thing to start up and settle down a little. In the next two hours I managed to delete enough junk to be able to run my utility kit and remove more garbage and spyware than I have ever laid eyes on before. I would have done an OS reinstall if she could have found the OS CD.

I hate to say this, but, after thinking about it, it didn't matter how pretty she was. I just didn't see myself dating someone who was so unknowledgeable about computers. I should have charged her.

-Charles
Arlington, Texas

Reply from the Download.com editors:

Modern-day gallants of both genders always want to impress their love interests with their skills. For the software savvy, that often means throwing out helpful suggestions for a neat utility, productivity tool, or freeware gem. It also means protecting our special somebodies from malware harm. Anyway, that's how we get dates!

While Anonymous was lucky enough to charge in on his trusty IM steed, brandishing a chivalrous software solution to win the thunderous "ty" of his beloved, Charles the Charming didn't fare as well. He had become a spyware Cinderella, scrubbing for hours on metaphoric hands and knees the tenacious malware of a love interest who every minute was looking less like the belle of the ball and more like a grotty evil stepsister. Is there a moral to these stories?

There's at least a practicum. Let's start with Anonymous. There are many removal solutions for rogue antivirus software, among them a good antivirus program. The problems occur when a) you're unaware there's a rogue app gluing itself to your program files, registry, or kernel; or b) your free antivirus software doesn't net, or even notice, the nagging ninny. Spyware-free freeware like RogueRemover is certainly as good a place to start as any. It's advisable not to rely on any browser as impervious to attack--even upstanding browser alternatives like Avant are built on an Internet Explorer frame and are therefore subject to its flaws.

Now for Charles. You hit the arrow in the target when you mentioned toolbar overflow as an indicator of incubating malware. This nice image from Wikipedia is a hyperbolic, but no less pertinent, example of an unrestrained toolbar invasion.

While we won't attempt to dispense any grand love advice, we will acknowledge the frustration of having to deal with computer users who never seem to be able to keep their machines out of trouble. Just take a look at these repeat offenders who kept harassing Jack. It can be even more aggravating if the terribly unsavvy are people we care about. If there are other indications of this lady's incompatibility with your modus operandi, you'd do well to consider them. But if it was solely a toolbar turn-off, consider too your power to awaken the lass to a newfound security understanding, at least as friends. Patiently teaching and explaining safer surfing behavior is always heroic.