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January 31, 2008 2:00 PM PST

Spyware Horror Story: Do you know your hacker?

by Jessica Dolcourt
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Suspicious figure

It's tempting to jam criminal hackers into a safe, distant profile. To assume the creep helping themselves to your e-mail, bank account, and surf history is a smug, slaphappy youth, or conniving foreign national. But what if you discovered that the one spying on your life was someone much, much closer?

How close? Like a parent, spouse, roommate, or significant other.

This is the topic of today's meeting in Washington. The Anti-Spyware Coalition gathered with representatives from McAfee and Google, to discuss the extent to which spyware abuse also constitutes domestic abuse.

Anna Stepanov, the Anti-Spyware program manager at McAfee Avert Labs, said surveillance is an indispensable tool to an abuser's material and psychological advantage over the victim.

Stepanov writes in a report (PDF), that "the use of spyware is ideal for abusers, who often feel the need to control all aspects of a victim's existence. Monitoring a victim's online, cell phone, or general computing activity is of more value than ever in controlling or hurting a victim."

It is a controversial topic, parents "spy" on kids, but we call it parental protection. Jealous spouses and significant others peek into in-boxes and cell phone texts and it's deemed a minor, or perhaps even warranted, transgression. Corporations have even been known to spy on reporters (but that one's a clear no-no.)

Where does one draw the line between the minor abuse of a suspecting spouse logging on to an e-mail account and the major personal and psychological trespass attendant to domestic abuse? While monitoring software is legal, and indeed, hosted on CNET Download.com, it's clearly not always used to keep children from peeping adult sites before they come of age. A clearer answer may well develop from today's or future meetings, but in the meantime, let us get your opinion.

Should definitions of domestic abuse include legal as well as illegal surveillance software? Are there acceptable limits to this? Share your views in the comments below.

Via Defense in Depth.

>>See all Spyware Horror Stories

Jessica Dolcourt reviews the latest and greatest smartphone apps, in addition to a healthy dose of Windows software. E-mail Jessica and follow her on Twitter.
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by psyfyre February 1, 2008 3:19 AM PST
Hi there, As a parent or parental figure to my wifes two kids i believe that as long as a child is a minor then they have full right to total unmonitored use of the net and online services. They are young and can be abused within your home unless you keep and eye on them. As far as logging on the your better halfs sms's or email, those rules are setup in the relationship of the two people, respectfully you should keep your nose out of others business until invited or given the oki doki. J
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by Leria February 1, 2008 9:26 PM PST
There's a little problem with your argument there, psyfyre. Most of the time when they are 'abused' (and I assume you mean sexually) they are the aggressors or someone asks them if they can touch them sexually and they say yes.<br /><br />One of the reasons why I say get rid of the statutory rape and 'child sexual abuse' laws and start putting more responsibility on children from the age of 2 to tell someone if they don't like the way they are touching them.<br />Personally, I have told my daughters that if they don't want someone to touch them in some way, they are to tell them that and if they don't stop, they are to come to get me. I have ALSO told them however, and meant it, that if they want someone to touch them, even on their genitals, that is their prerogative and they are allowed to do that and give permission for the person to do that.<br /><br />Really, most of the 'abuse' of children that goes on is because we have forced pedosexuals into the shadows. Most of them are not the 'big, bad child rapist' (speaking from being a pedosexual myself), but are simply people who are sexually attracted to children of various ages and ASK them for sexual encounters, which the children are usually game for and that causes NO harm until the parents and society come in and start filling the children's heads with the ******** that they were 'used' and 'abused'. That is what causes most of the 'harm' there - that ******** that the parents tell them and they automatically believe it because of the BS that we tell them that "Mommy and Daddy will never lie to you!".... something I know from personal experience is not the case!<br /><br />I know that from experience, I was 'sexually abused' from the time I was 7 and loved it! The feeling of closeness with the adult in question, the fact that they treated me like an equal, etc.<br />In fact, I call it consensual sex, not 'sexual abuse' which is a made-up thing by feminists who don't want their daughters to realize that they can be JUST AS HAPPY being a stay-at-home mother as being a working woman, can be happy not being married but having children for their 'men', and can be happy having sex outside of marriage.
by alice_b0wie February 1, 2008 4:02 AM PST
once the kids get a job, and buy their own computer they can do what ever they want with it. but, until then every thing that goes on in MY computer is there for me to see.
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by Leria February 1, 2008 9:18 PM PST
And do you really think that attitude is protecting your children? No, it is not. Most of the parents who are 'hard balls' like yourself are the ones who find out that their little Johnny or Suzie has gotten someone pregnant or gotten pregnant.<br /><br />Frankly, the best thing that we could do for children is to monitor their social lives but not dictate who they see or what they do, unless they are in danger of causing physical injury to SOMEONE ELSE. Not themselves, someone else.<br /><br />It's as they say: you cannot learn unless you are allowed to make your own choices and your own 'mistakes' (though those are usually just someone else saying you have made a mistake).<br /><br />My children, I do not bother monitoring them on the internet. Why? Because I have told them that if they are going to meet someone from online offline, they are to have me with them (and I have gone with them many times to meet someone who they have met online to give them my 'sniff test').<br />That is the only time I feel that they are in any true danger, when they go to meet someone from online in real life, and that is why I have told them that they are to have me go with them to meet the person in question, at least the first time.
by JoMilton February 4, 2008 2:19 PM PST
Many years ago some people didn't feel it unreasonable for a man to inspect and even open all his wife's mail. Who still believes he has that right? So if a man or woman should not open their partner's snail mail then clearly they also should not open, spy on, intercept, or otherwise interfere with their e mail correspondance. Just because it's electronic doesn't mean different rules apply. Overall - seeking to control and dominate another person by whatever means is wrong and should be confronted and dealt with.
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by hydrosummer March 8, 2008 9:47 AM PST
Personally I don't have kids or want any but I also believe that monitoring ANYONE thats on your personal computer is ok and something you need to do. With kids...well they have no rights until their of legal age and are easily persuaded by online predators, no matter how well you think you know your kids, predators will get to know them better and become their bestest fwiends. SO MONITOR!! I don't use virus protection or any adware programs only firewall and browse using Firfox. If their were random people using my computer then I would use antivirus.
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